How to Lure a Vampire

August 20, 2012 | Vampires, Creatures | 17 comments

With Buffy and now Twilight, vampires are  more popular than they have ever been. So popular that it can be exceedingly hard to get one to answer an invitation to dinner or just a quiet night out. So what’s a vampire loving guy or girl got to do to get one to answer his/her next text?

Tempting Treat for a VampireStart with the old stand by – Blood. Vampires love blood. It’s their raison d’etre. As Dracula so neatly pointed out, “the blood is the life.” Which sounds a bit like a contradiction since vampires are, technically, not alive, but that’s neither here nor there. Blood will draw a vampire quicker than honey draws a fly. (Vampires also appreciate a little class. So you might want to break out the good crystal. But do a temperature check before serving. Ideal temp is, of course, 98.6 degrees F.)

Maybe flash some Skin. Especially in the neck area. A bit of jewelry to draw attention to your jugular wouldn’t go unappreciated either. Just keep away from the religious symbols, especially religious symbols that bring with them great personal faith.

Embrace the Darkness. Most vampires, though not all, tend to avoid light, or at least very bright light. If you go by most television vampires who also happen to be detectives, however, they seem to have an affinity for living in cities like Los Angeles, where the sun shines pretty much all the time. Go figure. But most vampires like it dark. So arrange that get-together at night in a smoky, murky bar or in the shadows, preferably near a cemetery.

Utilize a vampire’s favorite sense – Smell. Vampires have a very heightened sense of smell, which is needed to sniff out all that fresh blood. It helps a lot if your blood smells especially good. Bella in the Twilight series smells very attractive to vampires. So does Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood) although her scent-worthiness has a lot to do with her having fairy blood, which vamps find especially tasty. Yum, yum.

To make your blood’s scent extra mouthwatering, you want to avoid garlic or garlicky foods. And it’s probably not a good idea to drench yourself in perfume. You want your vamp de jour to be able to smell all that yummy, titillating human blood.

Play the Submissive. Vampires need servants, wannabes, minions or sycophants: humans and/or lesser vampires (and sometimes the occasional werewolf) who are willing to do their bidding. Like dragging the vampire’s coffin around from one dank, dark basement to another, making sure the coffin is filled with fresh earth from the vampire’s homeland, and standing guard over the vampire during the day while he takes his beauty sleep. So, playing coy (and hiding your natural kick-ass abilities) may be required at least for a while.

Don’t be afraid of extending an Invitation. Traditionally a vampire can’t enter a home unless invited by whoever lives there. So be sure to give him an open invitation to your home as soon as you meet him. This will allow the vampire to enter your house whenever he chooses (which will more than likely be while you’re fast asleep) so that he can stare longingly at your neck. (Which, of course, you keep fully exposed. No high neck nightshirts for you!)

Once the invitation is issued. You need to remember some common vampire Courtesy. Be respectful of a vampire’s culture. Do not, I repeat, do not have any of the following lying about your home.

– Garlic

– Crosses (or other religious symbols)

– Mirrors

– Pointy wooden stakes

– Silver flasks of holy water or Eucharist wafers.

– Framed portraits of Dr. Abraham Van Helsing or Buffy Summers.

If you do all of these things, your hunt for your own personal vampire should reap rewards. Just remember, before you do any of these, a relationship with a vampire truly is forever.

(Love Vampires? Check out all my vampire romances stories here.)


  1. P.L. Blair

    Okay, I see what I’m doin’ wrong. I’m too fond of Italian food, which is loaded with garlic …

  2. Clint

    I like and admire vampires because they are a mortal they can live forever I would love to have the opportunity where I can live forever because I would love to stay young whatever so I can travel and see the world so if you know any website where I can actually chat with real vampires text me back the information thank you.

  3. Jamey Rohlman

    I want to become a vampire! All pleasures and pains that go along with it! I want to know how to find out if I am worthy. I will do absolutely any and everything!

  4. Jamey Rohlman

    I know most people think these things are missed such as werewolves, ghost, Zombies, and any of what they would call evil or have distained for. I am more ready than anyone ever has been! I welcome a vampire to Simply treat me has another.

  5. Jamey Lee Rohlman

    I want to be turned! My mind and body is strong, and what most people might call hell, I call the greatest opportunity!

  6. Jamey Lee Rohlman

    I want to be turned! My mind and body is strong, and what most people might call hell, I call the greatest opportunity! I am ready now, and look forward with every fiber of my being for that visit!

  7. Jamey Lee Rohlman

    I’m waiting! And this be done, or not!? The true vampire that I want to show himself to me does not need an email or a website.

  8. Alesia Joline Branch

    I am a going to become a vampire.And cuz I love them!!

  9. Mckeila Du preez

    I really would like to turn into a vampire. It would really change my life and um if there are any websites where u could talk to a real vampire then pls notify me I would really be thankful

  10. Mckeila Du preez

    Pls any vampire that would show himself to me really doesn’t need a website to come to me
    I really wanna be a vampire even if it means I’m going to hell
    Even if it means I would have to leave my family behind
    Even if I need to leave everything and everyone
    Pls just come visit me and turn me its not so hard to do something that simple

  11. zach

    i am a vampire

  12. Jace

    If any vampire reads this……than please come and visit me……i don’t want to be turned but,i just want to become a feeder.I crave to be bitten by a vampire.I will do anything to meet a vampire.Even if it means to leave my family.I want to embrace my darkness and give pleasure to the children of the night with my blood.If any vampire reads this than please text me back..please please please.I beg you.

  13. Samantha

    I know Vampires exist and I want to be one, I know there’s a way and I want to know where the vampires are at so heh can turn me into one and live forever

  14. John

    I want to meet a female vampire !

  15. John Gregory

    I want to meet a beautiful female vampire.

  16. Akelia vernal

    Vampires are outstanding creatures of the night with amazing capabilities .I adore vampires they are amazing I literally just want to become a vampire. I hate being a mortal/human always have to take orders from my mother and taking care of my little brother I live in in Jamaica, Kingston, marvoley my address is 64 Denver crescent Kingston 20 . If any vampires are reading this I Herby invite you to my house

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